SO GOOD! A phrase that I have already picked up from one of our ministry hosts here in San Antonio Aguas Calientes, Guatemala. This phrase is the epitome of what this season has been. Leader training into training camp into flying to Guatemala into getting settled with my first team and ministry (more on those in a bit).
What may surprise you is that “so good” doesn’t mean so easy, or so natural, or so calm. This word has taken on a different definition, just like joy, in this time of much transition; challenge; and newness. During my own leader training, the Lord began to unveil things that He was asking me to let go of. Some were obvious, like saying goodbye to my family; some were not so obvious, like saying yes to failing in the process of leading. For this reformed perfectionist, that reality is “so good!” but also so scary!
Just a little background…I have not always been very outwardly emotional (especially outside of my home). During leader training and training camp, however, I cried almost every day. Over hard things, over unknowns, over sweet things, over the love of God for me, over the pain of letting go again AND letting go more! This has been something that the Lord has used to grow me in emotional maturity, in humility, and in more understanding of how He created me (and us) as humans. From a place of brokenness, I’m learning, I’m leading, and I’m loving more like Jesus.
Amidst waves of sadness I’ve experienced, even over the past few days, I’ve continued to process with the Lord: how do these two go together? This ABUNDANT JOY and this recurring sadness? Are the two not in opposition with one another?
…
Well, I am finding that to the Lord, the answer is, “No!” Romans 5:1-5 says, “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Scripture can be read and memorized, but I believe that experiences are a vehicle that the Holy Spirit uses to implant the Word (and God’s love) on our hearts. My joy can, not only be experienced despite suffering, but because of suffering! And…finding joy each day does not mean I am perfect, does not mean that I won’t feel pain or experience sadness, but it does lead to endurance, character, and ultimately HOPE in God’s love and sacrifice!
I encourage you believers, to not come to the Lord perfect and put together, but as you are in this season. Share your pain and heartache with Him, release any hold it has on you, and ask Him to show you how you can find JOY in the pain, through the wilderness, and because of the suffering. It probably won’t be easy, but you won’t be alone, and you will find that you are loved…that YOU…YOU…YOU…are loved!
So, if you’re in a season of finding both, you’re in good company! And as I share the sadness, I will continue also to share the JOY! Here is just a small sample of the things that have brought me joy over the past month and some change:
 |
Forming Teams:
 |
Lawn Chair Crisis (LCC): Alyssa, Jaden, Michael, Jakson, Sarah, Jordan
 |
247: Elijah, Morgan, Lexy, Cheeka, Jordan, Kara
 |
Whale Team 6: Banks, Kevin, Jillisa, Kirsten, Liv, Tris
 |
Gloria a Dios: Amy, Maggie, Mikahla, Joana
 |
Chameleons: Abigail, Katherine, Victoria, Ruth, Caroline
MY FIRST TEAM PLACEMENT!!!
 |
P Squad Pride!
 |
game faces…
 |
learning that evangelism can be fun!
(disclaimer: cart was for sweet man we met)
 |
 |
preparing for and surviving my third time sleeping overnight in an airport
 |
making it to guate…and so the flashbacks begin (and let the memories be made)
 |
orientation with some awesome staff!
 |
sending off our first team from the squad
 |
committing to exercise in unusual places
 |
new cuisine eaten (tamales y estufado)
|
the joy of discipleship |
serving with Hope and Worship Room |
|
seeing the value of community and diversity |
opportunities to love on kids in the community |
Thank you for praying! Thank you for giving! May your hearts be filled by the Lord!
In Christ,
Samantha
Samantha, that was so well said!! One of my favorite movies is Inside Out because it shows how you can feel joy and sadness together. God made us so incredibly complex. I love hearing that you are still experiencing his joy and seeking it out amongst the pain! Please let me in when you are hurting. I want to be there for you!
Loved reading your update Samantha!!!!! Tell Jamey I said hi (she’s with Hope/Worship Room!) Praying for you. Proud of you sister!
I’m so proud of you, Samantha! (but of course you already knew that.). 🙂
What a treat to see and hear how the Father is rewarding your obedience, and how you’re drawing closer to him along the way. Love you!!!
Can’t have the Holy Spirit… and not have an experience. They are a perfect union.
The part about being a reformed perfectionist really got me lol. ME TOO SIS. I have loved watching your humility. Often perfectionism is coupled with pride and I have seen so much grace and understanding in the way you battle what you know isn’t your name. You are loved, seen, chosen, beautiful and beloved and He is with you always. That’s your name. I’m honored to get to walk with you in this season and learn from you too! Godspeed sister! Love you!