oh man!

After staying up to watch the town fireworks at midnight, our team rose early to head to the capital of Tirana. A man walked up to us, asking the time, as we sat waiting for the bus to arrive. Little did we know the chaos that would ensue in just a few minutes. He was evidently drunk, but was friendly toward our group. As the bus pulled in, he was standing in the way and almost got hit. This caused a different side of him to emerge. He became aggressive, and threw the door open to hit the bus driver. He landed some blows, but the bus driver was able to get him away as the door slammed shut. A prospective rider had entered the other side, and the man came around the other side, becoming violent with him as well and throwing him back. 

As the man rounded the front of the bus once more, the bus driver had backed up and gunned it forward toward him. He jumped out of the way, and then proceeded to pick up rocks to throw them at the bus. Another drunk man came up behind him, out of nowhere, to help assist in calming him down. Fortunately, none of the rocks hit their mark, and the bus driver directed those of us remaining to follow him down the street to board the bus. As we walked, he rounded us on the right hand side and we stayed together to avoid interaction. His last act of aggression was to shake the bus driver’s assistant, who walked just in front of us toward the bus. He almost pushed him off of a short bridge, before becoming disinterested and walking down a dark street. 

This was, of course, a surprising start to the morning, but there’s more to the story. I shared what the man did, but on the other side, there were four men looking out for the three women on their team. As well as, determining the best way to intervene to care for those being harmed. One of our guys spoke with him to try to diffuse the situation when he was going after an elderly man getting on the bus, and again when he put his hands on the bus driver’s assistant at the bridge. 

All four coordinated with few words to surround the three of us, gently guiding, as the situation changed, to a place of more safety and distance. They flanked us like body guards, and all coordinated with little prompting or communication between them. All the while, many of us were praying. For the Lord to intervene, to protect, to cause the man to become disinterested, to limit the harm to the older men being assaulted. The guys protected us, God protected us.

On the long bus ride to the city, I reflected with God on the short-lived, but impactful events of the morning. I realized the beauty of the Lord as protector and how He has instilled that into men. How our guys displayed the character of God through the events of the morning. Although the display of violence wasn’t desirable, I learned a lot in that short encounter:

1. God is a Protector

• He can be trusted to look out for us, even when it seems impossible.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. -Psalm 23:4

• He is powerful, and chooses to work powerfully in our weakness.

Yours, O lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all. – 1 Chronicles 29:11

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. -2 Corinthians 12:9

• He does not promise that we will not experience hurt or suffering, but that He will be our refuge and strength.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, through the mountains tremble at its swelling. -Psalm 46:1-3

2. God created men with a purpose

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. -Genesis 2:15

Before woman was created out of man, God gave instruction and purpose to the man. Looking into the Hebrew definitions of this text, there was a lot revealed through this verse. [put=to remain; Eden=pleasure; work=to serve/cultivate; keep=protect, guard, watch, wait, preserve]

Another way to phrase it: God placed the man in the garden of pleasure to remain in that place (in communion with God, glorifying the Lord by being as he was created to be). He was tasked to serve/cultivate the garden and all that was in it by protecting, guarding, waiting, watching, and preserving. 

The men on our team served us by protecting us from harm, guarding us fro impending danger, watching what would unfold, waiting to intervene based on what the Lord revealed to them, and preserved their role as God created it – standing firm as protectors, but also standing up to require the same of the other man.

3. Men’s purpose can be perverted

And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die. -Genesis 2:16

In the fall, the woman took the apple from the tree the Lord instructed not to, and the man failed to protect and guard the Word of the Lord, as well as, the heart of his wife. He didn’t wait on the Lord and watch out for trouble, neglecting to preserve the creation of the Lord, as it was ordered.

Men have the opportunity now to fulfill their duty as Christ did, or be diminished by the curse of Adam, using their God given qualities, abilities, and talents to lord over, bully, violate, and destroy.

Men are created with a physical strength and innate authority, different than that of women. That being said, men are capable of endangering instead of protecting. This was made evident by the man who chose to hurt others and himself by being in a state in which he lacked self-control. 

4. My respect for men has grown

• I realize more what responsibility has been placed on their shoulders
• I’m appreciative for those who step into it
• I look back and see the difference in my life of those who stepped in to protect and care verses those who took advantage of their strength and authority

Final thoughts…

In our culture, it is easy to follow the status quo, which right now seems to be complete autonomy, especially as women. We don’t need anyone or anything. Just ourselves. First of all, we were beings created for community (Hebrews 10:24-25). Secondly, in Genesis 2, after giving the man his purpose and instructions the Lord God said,

“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Verse 18)

To me, this is a reminder of the role we, as women, play in the lives of men. They need us to help them, to encourage them, to spur them on! What a difference between tearing a man down and lifting him up. The Lord has worked on this in me over the last few years, and I am sure that is why when a group of men surrounded me and guided me to a place of safety, I had no problem submitting. I actively accepted the authority and will of the men on my team because God created them to lead in this way. In the way of protecting, guarding, waiting, watching, and preserving.

 

---

 

Prayer:

Lord, these are some hard truths for many, and I pray that as You have walked with me and revealed things little by little, that those who read this would receive the same intimacy, patience, and clarity. In our nation and world, I pray that men and women would come together. To celebrate our differences. To encourage in times of victory, and to correct in times of wrongdoing. We are stronger together, and the enemy would love nothing more than to allow us to believe the lie that we don’t need anyone, or that we don’t need our counterparts. How beautiful when we all step in to the purpose that you have for us, as the body, as men/women, and as children of God. Please soften our hearts to see Your truth, Your love, and Your strength! Thank you for all that You are, and all that You have created and instilled in us. We are more than conquerors! 

 

---

 

Reflective Questions:

Men

1. What lies are you believing about women? Men?

2. In what ways do you bear the image of God as a man?

3. Have you used these qualities to protect or endanger?

4. What steps can you take to grow as a man, in the way God created you to be?

5. How can you spur on other men? How can you learn to better protect women?

6. What do you need from the men/women around you to encourage you in these things?

Women

1. What lies are you believing about men? Women? 

2. In what ways do you bear the image of God as a woman?

3. Have you used these qualities to help or to hurt?

4. What steps can you take to grow as a woman, in the way God created you to be?

5. How can you spur on other women? How can you learn to better help men?

6. What do you need from the women/men around you to encourage you in these things?

Beautiful mountain view as the team walked to the nursing home.

Joey and Jacob leading worship at the Wednesday night church service.

Colton sharing a message on suffering.

Allie and Caitlyn sharing testimonies (with translator Soni).

Me, Caitlyn, and Allie in front of the 2022 sign in the capitol of Tirana.