a prayer and a word

On December 3rd of last year, my Papa died. The day before was my 28th birthday, filled with laughter, Feliz Navidad’s, and letters from my friends. But during the day, I also got the news from my mom that my grandpa had been placed on Hospice. So, in the evening, after being thrown in the pool for a “birthday splash,” I called my dad, and was able to see and speak with Papa for the last time. 

Although my experience as a nurse, has not left me unaware and unexperienced with death, it didn’t change that I had trouble holding it together, as we talked, for what I was sure would be the last time. He struggled to breath and I held back tears, to be strong for him. The next day, I found that I was right, and that morning, my grandpa passed away. I grappled with the choice of whether or not to go home, in the end choosing to stay with all of the transitions to come.

Soon after getting the news of his death, we went to the town dump to do ministry with workers and residents there. This had become one of my favorite ministries since the start of the Race, but that day I had nothing to give, I was present in body, but not in spirit. So, I prayed, “Holy Spirit, I have nothing in me today. I need you, especially if you desire to use me.” Jesse, our ministry leader, planned for us to teach from John 1. Jose, one of my squad mates shared a little bit, but I felt a prompting also to speak through verses 1-11.

John 1 is one of my favorite chapters of the bible, and it is so full of the truth and power regarding Jesus. The main things that came from the Spirit were how amazing Jesus is AND that God does things differently than we would expect…but they are always bigger and grander! I challenged and encouraged the people to not put God in a box. We think that we know what He would do and who He is, but we often think way too small. God can’t be put in a box! 

One of the other volunteers, who had worked with the ministry for a number of years, came up to talk with me afterward. He asked me if I could read my audience. Not really sure where he was going, and honestly expecting some kind of correction, I didn’t really answer. He continued, “Some people can and some people can’t. If you weren’t able to read your audience, I wanted you to know that they were listening to you. They were engaged, and that is rare here. You may have a gift to speak in this environment.”

What power those words carried for me. I knew that the Spirit equipped me to speak many times, and that I enjoyed it, but had never had others tell me so clearly what he had shared with me. So, out of a place of emptiness, came filling from the Lord. What powerful truth He gave to me, I pray was powerful for those who were able to hear it as well. 

[JOHN 1:1-13] In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light. The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

Dump Ministry – Granada, Nicaragua

Sweet Friends