When your ex-World Race friends tell you that Training Camp is hard, but good, there are a lot of unknowns left in the mix. One thing that I didn’t expect was how much I would learn about God and myself. The ways in which I met with him were sweet and new.
#1 Hearing God’s Voice
I have typically thought of hearing God’s voice in one specific way: audibly and clearly – like He was in the room with me. However, on one of the first days of Training Camp, we were given the opportunity to use use our imaginations to hear from the Lord. Closing my eyes, I was transported to a park my family frequently visited when I was a child. Fittingly, I was my five year old self. There was no one around at first, but as I sat alone one the tire swing, JESUS APPEARED. I jumped off the swing and ran to Him. He reached out with both arms, picked me up and threw me in the air.
We smiled at one another and He pushed me on the swing for a short time. Afterward, we sat sat nearby together. Jesus said to me, “I love you, you’re enough, and I’m proud of you.” Tears flowed freely down my face, and I told Him that I was scared. He replied, “I know, and I will be with you.”
If you have never heard God’s voice, I encourage you to take 5 minutes, no expectations. Pray that He will take you somewhere to be with Him, ask what He would like to say to you and share with Him something real and deep. What do you have to lose?
And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after an earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” –1 Kings 19: 11-13
#2 Lord Who / Lord What
Further discussion of hearing God’s voice came about in a session called Living Fully Each Day. We were encouraged after session to ask the Lord for a who to reach out to, and a what to say or do to communicate with them. Positioned in a circle expanding to the edges of the room, a girl from one of the other squads came up to me and took my hands in her own. She said, “God told me that He sees you as a strong leader.”
To some, these words may have been insignificant, but they revealed to me an answer to prayer. Earlier in the week, I had specifically asked God if leadership was something that He placed on my heart. Knowing that I can struggle with pride, I wanted to know if the desire to lead was my own or in conjunction with the Lord’s prompting. Her words were God’s answer to my prayer and communicated so much deeper than I expected. Yes, more tears flowed freely.
Whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them is that you are not of God. –John 8: 47
If you love God, talk to Him! Ask Him questions. It may be the coolest thing that you do this week 🙂
#3 Bitterness
So, remember how the Lord revealed to me through a sister in Christ that He saw me as a strong leader? Well, although I caught a glimpse of the vision at large regarding leadership, the way that God goes about making things happen is often not the same as what I had envisioned. The majority of Training Camp, I was filled with much peace and unity, but the spirit of jealousy hit me like a crashing wave on the next to last day. The cause? I learned that each member of my team (group of 6) was given a role, and mine was not Team Leader.
Sitting in my role’s session, I felt unsettled and irritable. Afterward, I knew it had to be addressed. Asking one of my squad mates to step aside with me, I shared honest words and tears, asking her to pray for unity on my team and peace inside of me. Y’ALL! The LORD answered! As we transitioned into squad time and roles were revealed, peace and joy filled me when I learned who my Team Leader was. God’s hand was in it.
Later, I wondered if I should talk with my Team Leader, and again the Holy Spirit provided an opportunity. I was concerned how my honesty could be received, but with grace and maturity, she responded with praise to the Lord for my courage in speaking the hard truth. Weeks later, she also told me that at that moment she realized that because I had been vulnerable with her, she knew that I would be someone she could be vulnerable with as well. Praise God!
Not only were we brought together as teammates, but my squad mate who prayed was able to be encouraged by the answered prayer, voicing to me that when I ask her to pray she was surprised. This was news to me! She relayed that she was not yet really comfortable praying for others out loud, and this moment had given her more courage. So cool!
If you have something within you that feels wrong, you can have victory over it! Although sharing these things is really hard, and it definitely was, it is so freeing to be honest with others. In turn, it may finally release you from something that has kept you in bondage for so long.
Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops. –Luke 12:2-3
Your meet God moments are so precious. Incredibly blessed by your humble, transparent post Samantha ??
Samantha, you ARE a beautiful, tender-strong, loving and discerning woman of God. I can’t wait to hear how He shows you His heart and His purposes for you on the journey ahead. Love you!
There is just SO MUCH to love about this. Your humility is clear evidence that you’re walking with God… as is the wisdom you used in how you dealt with your disappointment. Thanks for leading so strongly by example. You are exactly what your team and squad needs!!